There is no point in a focus on the bad, the ugly, the terrible, as long as we are cognizant of its presence. Instead, there is a need now to escape the realm of intrusive thoughts that bring anxiety to the most calm of people. So, as is my favorite thing to do in all circumstances, I list the good.

See, I’ve never been in love with a man, but man have I been in love with writing. 

It could be a kitchen, or a stairwell, or a questionably clean couch, but most have heard it before. The air is filled with smoke, fumes of bready beer attached themselves to individuals, and the music is so loud that there’s a vague requirement to come up for air. Its in those moments in which we search for a pocket of solace that “Good News” exists.

“The flapper is deceased.” –Zelda Fitzgerald,1922

While the jazz age priestess, may have written in a painterly fashion throughout her career she was speaking with great candor, there really was never such a thing as a flapper. Fitzgerald added, “I am assuming that the Flapper will live by her accomplishments and not by her Flapping.” Again, she penned the truth. 

When in a collective, memories, thoughts, and hopes seem like pieces of a heart beating together. I have listened to so much much over the course of 2019, which became more of a period of growth than an actual year to me, and within it I collected lyrics that felt special.

 With the ten-year anniversary of December 9th closing in, my eyes saw the groove ahead of me while I still sat in August. Something about ten years makes it seem like a massively long time ago but still yesterday. The ages of fourteen and twenty-four are so far apart, but still so close together.

ainting people will always end in pain for ourselves or those we’ve painted. 

An external pressure leading me to try to achieve goals that were not of my own making had me feeling so incredibly incapable, off-path, and unworthy. A transformational thought fell into my mind one day and I let it sit there and knew that a time of change was a-coming. 

Tomorrow is my birthday and today I’m thinking back to the best birthday gift I ever received wasn’t tied up with a bow, and it wasn’t given once but it again and again until it became a part of me.

Saying "no" can feel so good. Comfort is what we cherish as humans, and sometimes to find that we avoid what scares us, makes us anxious or nervous, or just feels unachievable.

Avoidance can't serve you, willingness to take on what you previously believe you couldn't can.

The other day though I was staring at my screen pages of notes in front of me and I knew I just needed to start writing when my coworker who isn't a writer said, "Writing is hard, I know."

I didn't even process my response when I said quickly, and hopefully not too rudely, "Writing isn't hard thinking is." Once you start writing natural instinct kicks in and you let your hands become extensions of your brain tracing across the keyboard working out your thoughts as you go.

I knew one day I would have to tell the tale of the time I spoke at my college graduation and I never wanted that day to come.

When I was little, I was terrified of growing up because I thought that minutes disappeared after they happened. If I was six, I never got to be six again, and my happiness and sadness of that year fell into a void.

I don't think I've ever been as real I am now that I approach 24. I have seen tiny changes in my life and myself add up as I approach 24 and complete yet another year.

For the past six months I’ve walked with purpose, with prowess, with anxiety, without aim, without contention, and with the people among me on the sidewalk past, present, and future on the streets of Chicago.

This is the story of my parents losing a six-year-old me in a museum and me not even noticing.